Dealing with a Bossy Boss

No one wants to work for an abusive boss. Bosses can be rude, insulting, hateful and worst of all, bossy. Dealing with an office bully is one thing but what happens if the bully is your boss?

There is assured action that employees can take to overcome the effects of a bossy boss. Finding ways to cope with an aggressive boss is a necessity in order to improve your working experience. Profile your bossy boss and employ sharp ways to counter their somewhat obnoxious behaviours.  In order to best cope with a boss that's a chronic employee abuser, try to understand how to classify them. It's important for managers to manage staff but the prototypical bossy boss tends to take this responsibility to a more rigorous level. Classified into Jobs'co.za's five Bossy Boss Behaviours, these vary on an intensity scale accordingly. As mentioned it is important for employees to respect their employers but when things are taken to the extreme you need to stand your ground.

Jobs.co.za's Bossy Boss Behaviours.

Picture a linear scale from one to five; One being the 'Best of the Worst' and five, the 'Worst of the Worst' Bossy Boss Behaviours.

                                                            2. Blamers                                                 4. FOF (Friend-Or-Foe)

                                |-------------------------|-------------------------|-------------------------|-------------------------|

1.       Slave Driver                                        3. Money-pulator                              5.Big Bully Boss

                                                                  (Manipulator)

1.  The Slave Driver Bossy Boss

The Slave Driver has the companies best interests at heart, although, at the cost of scarce human resources. This type of bully boss, while commendably devoted to the success of their company, they tend to be really hard on even the most diligent employee. No amount of employee effort is enough. Staff end up feeling 'over worked, underpaid' and often this is where most productivity is lost. The Slave Driver Bossy Boss is of the impression that they are increasing moral and staff output, where in fact their actions are counterproductive.

2.  Blamer Boss

A Blamer Boss never has your back. While still 'low' on the Bossy Boss Behaviour scale, these are one of my pet hate bosses. The Blamer Bully Boss consistently blames their employees for everything that goes wrong. This kind of boss is quick to enforce new rules, policies and procedures however, if and when things go wrong, they are first to jump ship.

                Like the ill-fated Oceanus, the captain is kept safe, but you're going down.

3.  Money-pulator ('Manipulator') Bossy Boss

The 'Money-pulator' bossy boss tends to over promise but under deliver. Conceited, gluttonous and pig headed, this kind of bully boss wants to be the king of every castle. The manipulator is so arrogant that even in the presence of powerful personalities they can't get enough of their own voice. This kind of bossy boss discourages their employees, are inflexible and unrealistic. For the sake of looking good, this bully boss will sell his soul to the devil for the right price.

4.  Friend-Or-Foe Boss (FOF)

As we get higher up on the Bossy Boss Scale, the slimier the boss behaviour. The Friend-Or-Foe boss has no back bone. Supported by his sub-ordinates, this bossy boss is most threatened by skill, initiative and natural talent. As an attempt to remain in the driver's seat, this manager will be a 'Great Guy/ Gal' but will steal your credit right form underneath your nose. This manager is so lost in his or her own role, that without the support of their subsidiary staff, they would flounder. This FOF Boss will give you the independence to make significant decisions (as they lack the commitment themselves) but don't turn to him /her if you need support, assistance or back-up. Masked as your mate, this bully boss is in fact not playing on the same team as you are. Riding on the coat tails of others is the only reason for the FOF's success.

5.  Big Bully Boss

A chronic bully at best, this bossy boss is the pits. The Bully Boss is verbally abusive, impertinent and hateful. They get a kick out of undermining everyone in their establishment including industry peers on senior levels. A big bully boss is abundantly obnoxious and impossible to work with. Blatantly, they chip away at their companies human resources resulting in an astronomical staff turn-over. This boss has some serious anger management issues. They do nothing for staff moral, the promotion of a sustainable company vision and organisational drive. You can run but you can't hide from this boss, they sniff you out, shoot you down and laugh as you stumble. Get out while you still can, all that this boss can give you is a kick in the shins.

Once you have identified where your bossy boss fits in, you can apply the necessary steps to counteract their behaviour. To follow, are specific strategies for dealing with each kind of Bossy Boss.

1.  The Slave Driver Bossy Boss

Deal with this bully boss with confidence and autonomy. Because nothing you ever do will be enough, try not to rely on your boss for positive affirmations. You know whether or not you have done a good job and if so, give yourself the affirmations you need to maintain your drive. Closely manage your projects and be transparent in your reporting.  Don't wait for recognition from others; know your worth without relying on your boss to tell you.

2.  Blamer Boss

When dealing with this kind of bossy boss, always remember to document everything. Apply the rule of; 'If it didn't happen in writing, it didn't happen at all'. Although you shouldn't have to, always make sure you have yourself covered with details. Pay very close attention to details that are discussed and approved. Always have them confirmed in writing. By covering your own behind, you have means to backing up your motives and evenly spreading the blame. Always take responsibility for your actions but don't neglect the fact that you are guided by a greater entity within the company, your boss.

3.  Money-pulator (Manipulator)

Coping with a manipulative bossy boss is quite a tricky chore. You need to maintain employee- employer boundaries. Your biggest challenge will be patience. Always be transparent with realistic deadlines. Again, heavy emphasis is placed on documenting everything that is discussed. Expertly advise you boss or realistic timelines. It is important that you motivate your arguments and objections to unrealistic projects. Make sure your boss is well aware your competencies but is also savvy to that which is practical and within reach.

4.   Friend-Or-Foe Boss (FOF)

While this slimy sucker may not seem to mean any harm, consider yourself warned. Ever heard of the saying 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer', this could be what your FOF boss is doing. The best piece of advice you will ever get; never mix business with pleasure. No matter how nice anyone ever seems, always maintain respectful and highly professional relationships at work. After all, you are employed to do a job, not to make best friends. We tend to allow our friends to cross boundaries we ordinarily wouldn't allow employers to cross. Personal relationships with your employer open you up to being taken advantage of. A mutually respectful relationship with your boss is advisable but be sure to note the difference between personal relationships and professional ones. Keep your boss as you boss and maintain the professionalism required to uphold boundaries between employers and employees.

5.   Big Bully Boss

Think of the worst boss you have ever had, times that by ten and you've got a bully boss. A bully boss is almost impossible to conquer, almost. The trick with big bully bosses is that more often than not they lack confidence and self worth. A bully feels so uncomfortable in their own skin; they only know to deflect this onto those around them. The best way to deal with a bully boss is to weigh up the pros and cons of your situation. The task to mend broken self esteems is not yours and thus all you can do is consider your own happiness. Short of having the skin of a rhino, there is not much you can do other than fit in or get packing. Everyone's resistance levels are different and while to some, bullies deflect like 'water off a ducks back', others battle to cope with such working conditions.

No matter where you work or how hard you look, you will always be faced with difficult personalities at work. With knowledge in hand, weigh up the pros and cons of your working environment. You know what it will take in order for you to deal with a bossy boss, consider if it's worth your trouble, only you will be able to assess this. Good Luck and remember take it easy and treat others the way in which you expect to be treated.

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